2464 Making the Best Decision

Good evening, everyone, I hope everyone is doing well. I would like to welcome everyone and to anyone who hasn’t been around here before Hey. My name is Sophie, I’m 26 and slowly learning about life and trying to make my way in the world and sometimes I share how it goes on here.

Today’s post is hopefully going to inspire anyone and everyone to take that step you have been talking yourself out of, or that leap you’ve been thinking about. Those of you who know me personally will know there has been a lot of change in my life over the past two years. And some big changes this year so far. I am not going to tell you all the details because some of it is not my story to share.

Now we are going to jump into a different subject, so you have a bit of context and hopefully understand what I am going on about as we get to the point. So …. (imagine a rewinding sound).

I shall go back around Nov/Dec 2021. I believe this is when the seeds started to plant themselves and it was from this point onwards that I grew to hate where I worked. Tension was often high, colleagues were grumpy, being short-staffed a lot of the time meant myself and my colleagues were doing a bit more running around than usual so then more tired which ultimately was just a vicious cycle. If you are more tired, you tend to be less tolerant.

We then got some more staff, which lightened the mood for everyone for a short period of time. But then it took a turn because there were arguments, a lot of they said this, and that’s not what I have been told, and just not a lot of respect within the work environment.

Now we are going to fast-forward to more recent times. Not much has improved, there was a lot of backstabbing, insulting each other behind people’s backs, and just general school playground nonsense. Of course, no one singular person is to blame. It was a bit of a group effort that allowed the environment to get so toxic and unwelcoming. I tried my best to go to work, do my job and stay out of the drama.

It was at this point that the environment at work started to impact me more. Instead of hearing a comment and just ignoring it and getting on. I started to keep a hold of said comment and it would just sit in my mind repeating. And then each comment or action that was made would join that cycling comment. I began to notice that rules were different for each person within the work environment. I would get a comment about something that others wouldn’t. If I did section A of a task, I automatically had to do section B as well, but if another person did section A, they would expect me to do section B.

And I made it clear from the beginning of my role, that I didn’t mind what job I did within the workplace. But I started noticing things that were unfair, or different for me.

And then instead of being asked to do a job (which I NEVER said no to any job, I may have asked if I could finish what I was doing first, but if I was asked to do a job then I would do it). But… instead of being asked to complete a job, I was demanded to do it. Or ya know when someone doesn’t want to do something, and they keep highlighting that it’s not done instead of asking if someone could do it?

Overall… the environment just became very hostile, judgemental, uninviting, and simply toxic for me.

At the same time, I was having quite big changes in my personal world as well. It involved some health-related issues that I was dealing with personally, I had some family in the hospital unwell, some family dealing with their own health struggles, and just general private family matters happening.

So…

With all of this going on, I decided it was time for something to change. I couldn’t change my personal life. So, the only other option was to change my work environment.

And it was the best decision I had made in a long while.

Granted… I did not exit the workplace as I would have liked to. However, it was what I needed to do for me. And yes, I could have gone to my manager/boss and explained how I felt but it was way past that. Sadly, it was obvious that the drama was there to stay, and I couldn’t see a fix, so I just decided it was time to remove myself from the equation.

So, my advice to you today… is to take the leap. Do whatever it is you have been avoiding. Do something for yourself. Ignore everyone else. You don’t live for someone else; you live for you. Don’t be stuck in an environment you hate because it is easier. Push yourself and do that thing that makes you feel scared, or nervous. Because you can’t live behind fear. Yes, I took a risk. How did I know that changing to a new job was going to be a better environment or improve how I felt about work? I didn’t, not for sure anyway. But I did know I couldn’t take another day of the old environment.

And no, the grass is not always greener on the other side. But you won’t know until you try it. And if the grass isn’t greener on the other side… you haven’t reached the side that’s right for you. If you are not willing to risk it, you don’t get to enjoy the reward.

Luckily for me… I made the right decision, and it worked out for me. It’s not perfect. But, I have more freedom, I have more days off, it’s a quicker journey to work, it’s a smaller building so easier for me to get around, and just overall it is not as demanding physically.